John Crace digests How to Meet a Man after Forty by Shane Watson:
"So I know you've had boyfriends before and you've said you're better off without them, but you know you were really lying to yourself, don't you? Admit it, girls, you secretly want to be me; married to The One. And you can find your The One!! Because men are really very stupid and won't even notice your genital warts if you smother them with Chanel concealer!!"